I appreciate your words greatly Technicolor.
If anything, I'm ashamed of the way I'm feeling. It's not healthy - especially how frustrated and downright mad I am at the moment. Really can't think of a way to start unraveling all this. I still refuse to see we're not a couple and yet I'm wondering where the hell she is at the moment so I can ask face to face why didn't she tell me about dismissing the contract. Probably because I would've started crying, she would've felt sorry for me and stayed... Same old story. The idea of us being together, sharing, caring just keeps spinning in my head and the more I think of it, the more it hurts.
I really need to get perspective on things and not only on this, but on how and why I am way too focused on living inside my head.
I've ended up playing the blame card numerous times. When you don't think so highly of yourself, all you can see is how you should've been smarter, more handsome, more open-minded, more this and that. On the other hand I'm asking her "why in the hell you had to go and do this?"
I'm only lying if I'm to say it will be easy to get out of this.
You were just a damn sequencer
Moving to the beat
Living with a synthesizer
Cold as a repeat